Hello, I’m back. ♥
I wonder if anyone still passes by this little blog on the Internet. Ever since I closed down my old blog, I haven’t found the drive to post consistently. I haven’t written for myself much either. But I need to take a moment to pause and calm myself. Nothing worked better before than writing. So, here I am with my faulty word play and tangled thoughts.
2016 was a difficult year. As my best friend put it, I was “too lost”. I had no idea what to do with my life. Time always felt like it was running out. Despite the successful projects and numerous events, life felt empty. My priorities needed re-straightening. I was doing so much yet the people around me never seemed to be happy about it. This year, I realized… I didn’t need to do more. I need new people, those that will be happy to see me happy.
So I paid off my debts, quit my job, cut ties with a lot of toxic people, threw away a lot of stuff and FINALLY applied for law school (not exactly in that order.) I applied out of whim, not really sure if I will pass. (More about this in a separate post)
I found out I qualified in April and enrolled in June. Classes started this week, and I already have a lot of readings. But this time, the sleepless nights coming doesn’t feel so futile.
People say, you’re always one decision away from a completely different life. That’s not always true. You have to keep deciding. You have to keep choosing. You have to choose yourself every time. So even if it means missing out on activities, losing friends or skipping out on what everyone else tells you to do, spend your time on what you really want.
I was very afraid to lose people, titles, money and other trivial things that I held on to all the wrong things. I changed into someone I didn’t like, thinking it was the right person to be. But I’ve decided otherwise.
I’m not doing things anymore in search of consistency and happiness. I now know that I can be happy now, and sad tomorrow. Only if I want to. That I have control over my emotions. Each of us is given 24 hours a day. And I’m investing each minute in making myself happy. People will come and go. There will always be an important event somewhere. Those who really deserve your time are the ones who will stay despite everything.